Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Revelations and converting experiences

Hi my dearest friends,

So last weeks p-day was the come down from a couple days in bed, so I
guess I was still a little loopy when I emailed. I read my email back
the next day and I sound like I was absolutely out of my mind. So I
was kind of feeling a little bit bad about it for a couple days,
telling my comp over and over that everything must think I've gone
crazy and I think she got sick of hearing it haha. On Thursday at
District Meeting as part of the training we talked about Nephi, and
how he and all of the prophets had weak spots and times when they fell
short, or wavered in faith, or sinned, or made mistakes and they all
got recorded right there in the scriptures for everyone else to read
for the rest of eternity. So as part of this blog, you're going to get
to see some of my crazy moments, some of my mistakes and failures and
sometimes even a little bit of my pride (which I'm working on I
promise!) BUT just like all those prophets, I hope you can see how far
I've come, and what we can achieve in the strength of the Lord, and no
missionary no matter how set apart we are is perfect. And all of you
that know me anyway know that I was definitely not without my mistakes
and weaknesses before, so some of us have had a long way to come!

So, re-do.
Our next door neighbours are an amazing member family, some of the
pioneers of the area, especially the Lola/grandma who is in her 70s
now. She has been sick the last couple weeks so we made it a goal that
every week we'd find a little bit of time to go and share with her.
All she knows is that shes sick, because her family haven't told her
she has liver cancer because they don't want her to worry. At the
moment shes taking medicine that costs 500 pesos a day, or about 2 and
a half days work for one of her family members. What she does know is
that her family can't afford to keep buying her the medicine, and the
day she stops taking it is the day she will die. When we go we ask her
what she wants us to teach, and last week she said enduring to the
end, and this week she said something to comfort those who are about
to die. I just love her so much, and shes held her family together all
these years, and the biggest blessing of all was just a year ago they
managed to raise enough money that her and her kids and her grankids
could all go to Manila and be sealed in the temple. She is a true
example of enduring to the end, and although I don't have the
authority to tell her exactly where shes going, I think I have a
pretty good idea.

So last week I got sick and the doctors told me I was to stay in bed
for 5 days. President Barrientos told me to take the medicine, drink
some water and get back to work as soon as I could. So obviously I
trust President more and didn't lose too many hours of work and this
week I was back at work without a problem! We had a ton of making up
to do as those couple days before Sunday are critical in getting
people to church, especially as most people don't have phone or able
to reply to texts so if we say we're going to come and we don't, we
can't organise how they're going to get to church. So this week we put
all our time and attention to those who needed us most. It was a
critical Sunday for me because they need 4 Sundays at church before
they can be baptised so anyone who didn't come yesterday wouldn't be
ready in time before the day I will almost definitely be transferred.
I've been going crazy with plans of  how we're going to get everyone
ready, and then the thought crossed my mind for half a second if I was
being selfish by trying to get everyone baptised before I leave. Then
I realised, immediately after I pushed that one out, that I need to
get people ready for baptism as soon as they can possibly be ready, we
need to do everything we can to get them on that covenant path as soon
as possible. So on Saturday after lunch I was standing in the fridge
drinking water and the thought came into my mind - you need to fast
for them. Dropped the water mid gulp, went to my knees asked the Lord
to bless our investigators. All six of our investigators set for
August were at church yesterday. And unless the Lord intervenes, I
know they're all gonna make it. After being in the mission for so long
its easy to slow down, and I've felt that was a little bit lately,
like I was running out of energy and I needed to stop for a second. It
was then that I realised that we need to push harder in those moments.
When Satan pushes you one way you just have to push him back harder,
and then after that the Lord will just knock him over.

My study this week is focussed on the Book of Mormon, because I spent
too much time every where else and I wasn't appreciating it enough. I
bought a new notebook and read every verse carefully and write down
every brand new thing that I have learned. It's been three weeks now
and I've made it to 1 Nephi 16 haha. But I have a ton of notes. One
thing I haven't been able to get out of my mind is the difference
between Nephi and Laman and Lemuel. Sometimes I think we all just go
oh they were so evil, they were always just doing the wrong thing. But
heres the thing, Laman and Lemuel didn't have to leave Jerusalem and
travel into the wilderness, but they did. Laman even went into Laban's
house by himself. They continued on in their travels for years and
years. Laman and Lemuel were active members of the church and they had
testimonies! But heres the thing, even though they were active, they
were always complaining, they only wanted to do the bare minimum, or
the easy things. They never learned to respect their leaders, they
never learned how to trust in the Lord, they only repented when things
got really bad or when they had huge spiritual experiences. And even
though they carried on being active for all these years, their hearts
were so shut off from feeling the Spirit that eventually the day came
when they just would not do it anymore. They seperated themselves from
the church and from their family and they went so far away from what
they'd always known to be true. We need to think about ourselves. We
could be serving as missionaries, or in leadership positions, and we
do it because we have testimonies, but if we are not CONVERTED, the
longer we go on the further we will fall if we fall away. We can't be
Laman and Lemuel's. We have to hold on to the things we know to be
true, we have to LIVE the thing we know, we have to become TRUE
DISCIPLES. I don't know that I'm there yet but I know I'm on the path.
Think about it, where are you now?

I love you all,
Share with me your spiritual experiences and your insights. A
missionary is only as strong as the people supporting them. I can't do
this without you!

Sister McKim

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